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11/06/2002 Archived Entry: "I wanna be a famous thief"

Oooh boy, now that annoys me. Prosecutors will not seek jail time for Winona Ryder's grand theft and I am disgusted. Anyone else who walked into Sak's, cut tags off clothing, stole $5000+ worth of goods, and tried to say they weren't guilty would be off to pound-you-in-the-ass prison for a good while. Celebrities get away with things that only a typical scumbag politician isn't envious of. Even those who do get caught and convicted (Robert Downey Jr.) are given chance after chance to straighten up, where the average Joe/Jane would find themselves forgotten by all but close family as they languish in jail.

Nevermind the people who are only famous by close association to the powerful.

Anyone want to suggest how I can become famous enough to get away with murder?